Mum Was

MUM WAS

Ruthie was a little girl
posing proudly on the promenade
In a gingham dress
Ruthie was naïve once
her cousin asked her
to buy tartan paint and she did
Ruthie knew a little boy who
hid under the bed and said
“A bus ran over ma heid”
But even Ruthie knew
that couldn’t be true

Mum was an usherette in the cinema
She let me in first to feel special
She always wore a green coat
I would tug it if she spent too long
Talking to neighbours outside the Co-op
Mum never wore trousers
and never strode anywhere
Mum knew what I meant
when I came home from school
And said “I’ve started”

After Mum lost all that weight
and her skin turned yellow
I would go to buy her special bread
And collect her prescription
from the chemist, Powders and pills
Mum said she’d like
A new head and a new body
and said I wasn’t to cry over her

Mum’s last letter had shaky handwriting
and said After all the tests
maybe they will come to some conclusion
When Mum died her hair was as black as blood
I wear her rings now
I have lost weight too
They are loose and slip
And twist like lost memories
But I will not alter them